I woke up and didn't want to get up, no surprises there. I didn't even want to be awake in the first place. The thought of dragging my sorry ass outta bed every single morning is... exhausting, really. I lack motivation and it infuriates me. I have so many friends who seem to just jump up and DO something with themselves, have a passion for their lives. And I want to do things, believe me...I want to fucking do something. I have enough plans and dreams for a whole horde, I just....I can't ever seem to get there. So easily discouraged. Where does it come from? All that motivation and focus.
I can't even concentrate on one thing for 5 minutes before I get bored and side-tracked!
I'm trying really hard lately with the fitness and healthy eating side, I know it all plays a massive role and I do notice a difference in my mood at times. And a bit of advice to anyone who is maybe a bit sad or lonely...get a dog! Wicket will jump up onto the couch, climb up and sit on my tummy, front paws on my chest and stare me straight in the eyes. Seriously, just sits there and stares at me. Maybe tries to sit on the laptop or anything else I might be holding. This is one of my dogs telling me to get up off my ass and take them for their daily walk. So it's either drag myself from sinking deeper or feel guilty as fuck for not taking him out.
So the walk is my new daily routine which I plan on expanding into a whole tonne of sweaty, muscle tearing activities. And I'm looking forward to it, healthy body healthy mind, right? I'm just scared that like everything else I've tried in my life, it'll last a week and then I will lose all that motivation. I'll get a bad hangover or have a binge day on terrible food I don't even like and then that'll be it..."It's not worth it coz it's not working anyway. You're just stupid as fuck, go back to sleep."
Ugh, thank you brain. Thank you for fucking up on the chemical front. Appreciate it tonnes.
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